Your Spouse Should Totally Be Your BFF
When people say their spouse is their best friend, what they are really saying is “I don’t just love him, I LIKE him.”
I read an article recently with a woman explaining why it was unhealthy for your spouse to be your ‘best friend.’
When I googled to find it again, in order to write this article, I got over 4 million results talking about why your spouse isn’t really your best friend.
I read several of them with an open mind, and I have formulated a response.
That is ludicrous.
First of all, you can have more than one best friend.
Just as you have changed drastically from who you were in elementary school or high school or college, or just from who you were 4 years ago, you have some friendships that evolve with you and you have other new friends you have made along the way.
I have best friends from every stage of my life, because I met those people as a certain person, we bonded and became good friends, and then I still continued my life path of evolving, growing, changing, and in general being a human woman.
Yes, of course I have that one girlfriend I would take a bullet for and whom I consider to be my “top-most important best friend ever” — and I am extremely lucky that she feels the same way about me. This is the same woman whom I have known well over half my life, we are polar opposites, and she is the best gal I know. We plan to retire on the beach together after our husbands pass on someday.
I also have best friends from high school, bffs from college, my work-bestie, and my hubs.
Because yes, my husband is my best friend.
Honestly, he knows me better and more deeply than literally anyone else in the entire world. He knows how terrible I can be and he loves me anyway. I know his deepest secrets and weirdest quirks. We’ve been together damn near a decade, and it’s kind of weird sleeping in a bed without him. He wholeheartedly supports my dreams and goals and I am his biggest cheerleader and cheerer-upper.
If that’s not a best friend, then what the hell kind of friend are you?
My husband is my best friend.
He is not my only friend and not even my only best friend. He does not have the burden of 100% of my emotions, my happiness, or my needs. I assume that is the fear when people talk about spouses being BFFs — that you are having your spouse hold 100% of your happiness in their hands, which is not good. They’re right, that is unhealthy.
But I have friends and interests and a career outside of my husband. I have other friends and other people to talk to. I just want to talk to him, too.
Hell yes. Good for you if your spouse if your bestie. Emily is my ride-or-die chick, and my hubs knows me even better than that. Be proud!
When people say their spouse is their best friend, what they are really saying is “I don’t just love him, I like him as a person and a friend.”
Which is freaking beautiful.