What Is a Midlife Crisis Really?

Probably not what you think.

Image by NoName_13 from Pixabay

Whenever anyone mentions a “midlife crisis,” all I picture is a balding white dude who buys a convertible or gets a divorce to date younger women.

I know it’s a stereotype, but I never really put much thought into it.

That’s the mainstream understanding of a midlife crisis, right?

Not exactly.

Well, not really at all.

The thing is, we’re all human. Inside, I mostly still feel like I have the same abilities as when I was 25. So do all the other almost 40-year-olds I know.

Despite definitive proof that I’ve aged, my brain almost can’t comprehend that I’m not exactly the same as 15 years ago. I don’t FEEL older, you know?

I think that’s why elderly people are so loathe to stop driving or use a walker — in their heads, they still feel fully capable of driving, walking, and remembering stuff. It’s their body that betrays them.

Much like heart attack symptoms or ADHD presentation in women, what the general public understands about a midlife crisis is an overgeneralized man’s response.

But let’s look at what it truly is.

According to Right as Rain by UW Medicine, Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jacques coined the term “midlife crisis” in 1965. Since then, journalists, researchers, and mainstream media have popularized it.

I’ll start with the simplest definition I found on dictionary.com: “noun: an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.”

Okay, that’s pretty vague, but the important details are about an identity crisis and loss of confidence.

Midlife crises usually occur between the ages of 35 and 55 or 40 to 60, depending on who you ask.

Surprised? So was I. I’m 38 and currently experiencing one.

Turns out, when we say “middle-aged,” almost everyone thinks of someone in their late 40s to early 60s.

However, the average life expectancy of someone in the US is currently 78.7 to 79.9 years, according to the Congressional Budget Office’s January 2024 paper, “The…