Things I Thought Would Be a Bigger Deal As An Adult

And the things that actually are a big deal

Things I definitely thought would be a bigger deal as an adult:

  • Being stuck in quicksand
  • Booby traps
  • Finding a mean troll under a bridge
  • Drawbridges and moats
  • Being offered drugs by random strangers
  • Swallowing gum or watermelon seeds
  • Shipwrecks in the Bermuda Triangle
  • Stop, drop, and roll
  • Being kidnapped and thrown in a trunk. I cannot tell you how many times I read about how to kick out the tail light and wave to signal the cars around you.
  • Trigonometry
  • Popularity
  • Knowing evolutionary epochs
  • Peer pressure. As an adult, good friends don’t pressure you to do stuff you don’t want to do and if people do, they are not good friends.
  • Interventions
  • Amnesia
  • Permanent records
Photo Credit: Ron Jacobs/BBC
  • Guys in vans handing out free candy
  • Killer bees/swarming birds
  • Spontaneous combustion
  • Muggers
  • Slipping on banana peels
  • Monsters under the bed
  • Magic
  • My high school GPA
  • Picking a college major

Things that I DO need to worry about as an adult:

  • Trying to get the best interest rates on credit cards and mortgages
  • Things falling randomly from the sky. I live in NYC, falling air conditioners and ice in the winter from a tall roof are legit fears!
  • Making new friends as an adult — it’s hard!
  • Mass shootings
  • Being a nice person and expecting others to be nice in return
  • Saving for retirement
  • Assholes
  • Close friends being polar opposite politically
  • Drunk drivers
  • Baby boomers telling me about how “my generation” just needs to “work harder” because they could afford a house and 2 kids on one income.
  • Creeps on the street telling me to smile.
  • Picking the right job/career
  • Intolerance
  • Idiots
  • Being able to do simple math

Entrepreneur, writer, editor, book coach, cat lover, weirdo, optimist. Author of “Write. Get Paid. Repeat.” & “Concept to Conclusion.”

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