New Wedding Vows for Millennials & Gen Z

Even wedding vows need updating

I have always hated over-generalizations and being lumped into the “millennial generation.” Millennials are defined as people between the ages of 18 and 34 in 2015. This includes me.

We are preceded by Generation X (ages 35 to 50 in 2015, HAHA BIG BROTHER!), and of course the ever-talked-about Baby Boomers (51 to 69 in 2015). Both Gen X and Millennials are surpassing the Boomers in numbers! Go us? We are followed by Gen Z (born between 1995 and 2015) — the oldest of them are like 25 now!

Even though Millennials seem to get a bad rap in the media, my generation has been chock full of innovators, inventors, world-changers, and more. So, there. And things have certainly changed a TON in the years since our Boomer parents were growing up and getting married.

Gone are the “in sickness and in health and obey until one of us dies” and here to stay are custom vows. If you look up wedding vows online, there are a million sources with ideas, examples, and more. You can even watch videos of other peoples’ weddings to get ideas on what to say to your beloved.

I think I can do better than that. I’m a married woman and I’ve put a lot of thought into some updated wedding vows for the 21st century. Feel free to steal some of my beautiful words, as you make your pledge to your favorite fiance.

New Time, New Vows

“I promise to not slap your hand away every time you steal my food because you eat too fast and I still have half left when you’re done, which is clearly an invitation.”

“I vow to always send you the link to that hilarious video I saw.”

“I swear to show you all the dank memes.”

“I promise not to watch Last Week Tonight without you.”

“I promise to not get mad when you refuse to skip the intro.”

“I promise not to secretly watch episodes of tv shows we both like and then starting chuckling right before a funny line happens when we later watch it together.”

“I pledge that I will not use your profile on Netflix and screw up your recommendations.”

“I vow not to audibly say ‘what the hell are you watching?!’ when you’re on your phone and we’re in public.”

“I vow to order you soup on GrubHub/Postmates when you are sick. Also, I’ll sit on the far side of the couch.”

“I promise to kill you first when you become a zombie, because you’ll definitely become one sooner than me, as I run faster than you.”

“I promise to let you be right sometimes. Even if Google and Wiki and Alexa support my position.”

“I vow not to talk the whole time you’re playing Overwatch.”

“I vow to always text you back.”

“I swear to only call you when it’s actually important.”

“I promise to put my phone/tablet down now and then and focus all my attention on you. I swear we will have real out-loud conversations.”

“I promise to always do the soccer-mom-arm thing if you are playing with your phone when we’re about to cross the street.”

“I vow to always ask you for help when I’m using spreadsheets, and because I lost a bet, I officially name you The Spreadsheet Master.”

“I promise not to abuse Amazon Prime.”

“I vow to sometimes let you be the one to choose which Hulu show we watch.”

“I promise to include songs you like on our road trip playlists.”

Writing your own vows is awesome!

Entrepreneur, writer, editor, book coach, cat lover, weirdo, optimist. Author of “Write. Get Paid. Repeat.” & “Concept to Conclusion.” jyssicaschwartz.com

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