Lyrics: Parody of “All I Want for Christmas”

And now for something completely different.

Since starting this Medium blog in December of 2016, shortly after beginning my entrepreneurial journey, the majority of my posts have been related to freelancing, writing, business, mental health, books, editing, etc.

Mostly business-related stuff.

Which is great!

But something you may not know about me is that I am a singer/songwriter. I was classically trained and sang in competitions when I was younger, along with musical theater, chorus, going to All State, etc.

Typical band geek, but for singing…so louder, I guess.

I started writing songs when I was young and even have a few that I’ve worked with a music producer here in NYC to record.

But a hilarious and fun passion of mine is making up silly parodies. I love Weird Al and I just think well-written parodies are art all on their own. I have done one on Backstreet Boys’s “I Want it That Way” called “You Need to Shower.” And another on Cee Lo Green’s “Forget You” all about my love for and addiction to coffee.

But this one is special. I think it’s good, true, funny, and include jazz hands. Being a millennial is so tough!

I apologize for the formatting. I tried to fix it about 17 times! The dots just….exist there now.

Without further ado, here is my parody of Mariah Carey’s song, now called:

“All I Want for Christmas is Food”

I don’t want a lot for Christmas, ………………………………………………Here’s a list of what I need: …………………………………………………………I don’t want any gift cards ………………………………………………………Just fill my fridge up, please.

I just want it for my own. ……………………………………………………Brisket, pasta, a pot roast,…………………………………………….. ………Make my wish come true! ……………………………………………………… Ma, all I want for Christmas is food.

Oooooh, feed me! *jazz hands*

I don’t want a lot of Christmas
Just a few things that I need, and I
Could use some new tube socks
In a package of three.

I love getting a stocking
Full of practicality
You could really make me happy
With work pants or new undies.

I just want it for my own
Financial security
I’m a millennial
I’ll take an IRA for Christmas.

I don’t ask for much for Christmas
I never have once wished for snow.
I just want to buy a house
While working just one job.

I will make a list and give it
To you with my biggest wish
I’ll even find out what’s on sale
Couponing is my life.

I just want more of that meal
Leftovers or raw is good
Make my wish come trueeee
Baby, all I want for Christmas is food

ooooh feed me!
Oooooh thanks, Mom!

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
Socks and pens and cheese
I just want to have snacks
And money in my bank account.

I just want it for my own. ……………………………………………………Brisket, pasta, a pot roast,…………………………………………….. ………Make my wish come true! ……………………………………………………… Ma, all I want for Christmas is food.

Oooooh, feed me!

All I want for Christmas is fooooooooood.

Oooooh feed me!

Entrepreneur, writer, editor, book coach, cat lover, weirdo, optimist. Author of “Write. Get Paid. Repeat.” & “Concept to Conclusion.” jyssicaschwartz.com

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