Levels of Facebook Friendships

Most of us have several hundred (or more) Facebook friends. In my case, I try to only be friends on Facebook with people I have met in real life. Now, I may have met them over a decade ago (I got an account when it was starting out and only for college students. Back in 2004…holy crap that’s 13 years ago), but I did meet them!

I have various people from all levels of schooling, book clubs, family, random encounters at parties, work people, and more. I use Facebook mostly for staying in touch with my friends and family, especially over long distances, as I live out of state from most of them. A lot of my posts are pictures of penguins, my cat, and random things I think about. Or snark. I adore sarcasm.

I know there are some people who live for the Facebook likes, and maybe they equate “likes” with attention, I don’t know. I just enjoy seeing my friends and family and keeping up with their lives, and at this point in my life, their babies.

But of course there are some people I barely remember from many years ago. And that got me thinking about the different levels of Facebook friends.

Levels of Facebook birthday Comments:
-Level 5 (Highest): Personal comment with actual memories and well wishes, includes tagging and a picture. (Translation: we are actually friends in real life)
-Level 4: Happy birthday! Hope you have an awesome day! (Translation: I like you a lot and genuinely hope you have a good day.)
-Level 3: Happy birthday! (Translation: You are good enough for the shift key.)
-Level 2: happy birthday! (Translation: Not even capitalized! Scandalous!)
-Level 1: hbd (Translation: I am about 50% sure we have met, but am not willing to type out 13 letters and a special character.)
-Level 0: I unfriend you on your birthday because I cannot remember who you are.

Levels of Baby Picture Reactions:

-Your parents: Like and comment on every single picture.
-Your best friend(s): Like every baby picture, occasional comment on especially cute or funny one. Usually a sarcastic comment likening your baby to an old man/woman, a weird animal, or a derpy animal. These are the best comments.
-Friends: Like most pictures.
-That one weird person you knew in high school: Posts overly personal comments on every picture, often giving TMI about their health issues.
-Mommyjackers: Comments on every post/picture of your kid with comments about their own kid.

Level of Parents:

-Documom (docudad): Posts multiple pictures and videos per day.
-General expected level of FB parent: Posts some pictures, usually with an entertaining caption, and always posts the important milestones.
-Parent-you-forgot-was-a-parent: Posted pictures right after the birth and has since posted no pictures of the baby.
-Grandparents: Repost memes and quotes. Especially those weird quotes that are also a video?

What else? Who do you notice on Facebook? The Product Pusher? The Mom Friend? That Girl Who Got Engaged? The Guy Who Goes To Crossfit? Car Guy?

*Originally published at jyssica.blogspot.com. Please like my posts by clicking the heart!*

Entrepreneur, writer, editor, book coach, cat lover, weirdo, optimist. Author of “Write. Get Paid. Repeat.” & “Concept to Conclusion.” jyssicaschwartz.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store