I Read My Cat’s Diary.
I feel terrible that I violated his trust!
I didn’t go TOO far back. I’ll admit, I was hoping to see how he felt about the new kitten, but I feel so bad for looking!
At least he has a healthy sense of self, I guess.
January 22, 2020
My name is Dexter Alan Schwartz, and I am the most gorgeous feline you will ever have the pleasure of seeing.
I’m not just saying that. Trust me, I am also extremely humble.
But the lady who lives here tells me that I am beautiful all the time. I know it! I groom myself regularly, I exercise when I feel like it, and I guard the house from insect intruders. What’s not to love?
The lady says she’s my mom, but I have to tell you — I don’t think there are any hairless ones in my family tree. I try to groom the humans but there’s nothing there! It feels like a waste of time, but hey, you do what you have to for family, right?
My mom is pretty great. She feeds me and also I stole this journal from her shelf. My dad is warm and I like him a lot. Sometimes, if I get to my dad early enough, he won’t even know Mom already fed me and I can be all sad and meow at him and give him the ol’ kitty-cat eyes and get an extra meal out of him! The eyes always get them.
